Modern Medicine, Huzzah.

Doc Jones prescribed an antibiotic, and it is working nicely. My tummy and gut are not even upset, which is pleasant. The face pain is nearly gone. Yay. I love the small pharmacy which filled the call in order; they do free home delivery and keep my card on file. A ten day supply was less than a dollar.

Speaking of medical, my Medicare card arrived in the mail, effective in January. I need to not lose it, I need to update Tricare when the time comes. Most importantly, I need to make certain I renew my ID card on time so there is no lapse in coverage. My brain fog still rolls through, so that’s going on the Important Shit List.

Desi took me to the commissary, I did a stock up on staples. Flour, sugar, oil, a little meat, canned foods, frozen meals, kitty litter and food, and La Croix. I forgot the Smart Balance, but I can get that delivered. It’s no longer trauma to go shopping on base, but still tinged with sadness when I look at foods Larry would have bought. My nightshade sensitivity is not so bas, so I indulged in a bag of BBQ potato chips. Eight servings the label proclaims. Ha, I will be lucky to get four. Yummy, but the Private Selection brand at Smith’s is a superior chip. I did not buy ice cream, cookies, or pop tarts. A win. Granola bars and jerky are in between. I got a nice bottle of organic Mezcal I intend to drink once I finish my course of medication.

My new jam I am trying to set as a habit is meditation. The Loki bead strand helps with that, it’s in different colors and textures and 12 beads have specific meanings to contemplate. Usually the setting is ritualistic, with a candle and incense, and a bell, and offerings. That focuses me. Rune stones and tarot cards are a form of meditation for me, and I am learning those. I want to concentrate on my health a bit more, and using the chakras as check in points feels like it may work. I love the stones, I have some, so that is where I will begin. All of that sounds very Woo, and it is, but for me, there is not much literal belief. Maybe there is. Clarity of mind, exercising calm, awareness of self and body are the goals. Perhaps this will open me up to more physical works such as yoga, dance, walking, and even exercise.

My spending is not under control. Self-control is not impossible for me, but once I latch onto a new interest or hobby, I overspend in preparation. I have been this way a long time, and Larry reinforced it. He was much the same way, and loved a good sale. Retail therapy indeed, and online shopping truly is an enabler. From crafty stuff such as sewing, beads, painting, miniatures, to self indulgences such as food, art, and jewelry, clothing, shoes, to travel, to home decor, I overspend and I know it. I never carry a balance on the credit cards, and that strains my savings accounts. I must stop. Admitting I have a problem and identifying my pattern was a good start. Even typing this bit out feels stressful and I want to go browsing right this moment. I will not. No, I will not give up the credit cards, they’re useful tools. I need to set guidelines for myself, for in person shopping, for online shopping, for Instacart, for Etsy and Amazon and Ebay. Schedule my impulses as it were. And we are back to meditation… I order a few worry stones so I would have a chakra set … shopping as preparation for something which might not stick. There’s a circle, a pattern and creating mindfulness for control is very much needed.

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