Today I emptied the Needful Things bin. I took a few things for myself, the Sharpies, a spoon, a glass water bottle, some tissues and a bowl, a basket, the keychain pocket knives. What is left is a bag of bandanas, a small box of kitchen stuff, and a smallish bag of hygiene items such as toothbrushes. Some lights. One bag of trash. The end of an era.
Ah. Five years since Larry passed. The fluidity of time is so very odd, what drags and crawls goes by in an eyeblink. I still don’t know what to do with myself. Audiobooks and music, mainly.
I made the decision, no more Burning Man. I didn’t go to Element 11. I wasn’t having fun, without Larry, it is just sadness and frustration. Oh, I do wish I could see my friends, drink coffee in the mornings, give away art, go to Golden Cafe’s 20th celebration. However, the ride is too hard, trying to get everything done before, during, and after is too hard. Staying home is easier and cheaper. I feel like I have surrendered, but the crumbs of joy no longer tip the scales. I do not have the mobility and strength to participate in Fire Tribe anymore. Even with the trike, I was campbound far too much. It simply was a habit.
This last week I finally cleared the Larry’s candle and craft table in the basement. Put a nice cover on it. Got my wooden treasure chest up on it, and will get out my Gift Box out of the shed to put on it too. Moved everything out from under it. Put away the skeleton. Put the outside pillows on the chaise lounge for now. Got a disc reader for the box of picture discs. Tossed the Playboys, the old lighters, the broken net lights. Moved mom’s baskets and will get them in the back corner soon. I have a couple flat containers of Larry’s things to sort, but feel like it has all morphed from mementos to trash. Those are on the coffee table. Not a big move, but movement.
Movement. More movement, less movement.
MaggieMayhem 