I didn’t post much, because there wasn’t much to say. In the last week though, I have moved into my bedroom completely. I still have one or two things to get settled, but I am in my room with the AC.
The coffee corner looks great, I even got some art which goes with the aqua up above it. I finally took all of Larry’s shoes and clothes out of the closet, his closet is now mine. I left his dress uniform shoes in the shoe drawer, but at the back. His dresser, with 11 drawers, now holds mostly my stuff. I moved his junk drawer down, and his funeral drawer to the bottom.
Mrs. Bucky the skeleton came upstairs, I dressed them in Larry’s black leather jeans, the shirt he wore when we got married, cowboy boots, Harley belt, and big black hat. Now Named Lucky Barry, and stands in the living room.
I have my Loki altar set up, with a candle offering bowl, incense, trinkets and a great Loki figure. Gives me a place to talk and meditate. Plus I get a shot of liquor each evening.
I got out the weed whacker and am learning how to use it. The tree guys did come, the wood is gone. I have done weeding in spurts in the morning when it is cool. Still need to find someone to fix the front sprinklers. The swamp cooler guy is scheduled for Monday, it is 90 degrees in the kitchen and hall. If I can cool those, and the front room, I can work on cleaning, and on art. The basement ceiling should be finished on Tuesday. Still waiting for people to come pick up other things, but I know how that goes.
While I am still very sad most of the time, and cry at least once a day, am still lonely as hell, and quite bored; I feel as if I have turned a corner. Maybe optimism, maybe a calm place inside. Still very up and down. Spending too much money. But somehow, I feel like I have a tiny measure of hope that everything will be okay.